Now that you've experienced working with a life coach, I am extremely appreciative and proud of you for taking the initiative to get coached. The first step is always challenging, but in this case, the initial action carries a deeper meaning than merely doing something you've never done before. The courage you displayed at the beginning of this journey reflects your wonderful belief that you will become the person you aspire to be—whether that's someone more confident, more peaceful, or fearless.
You went through the dual nature of the journey
And this journey is rewarding and challenging at the same time. Rewarding, of course, because you’ll notice you are starting to look at things in a different way. Simultaneously, this process is challenging because questioning the beliefs you are holding can be difficult. Asking 'What if the belief is not true?' might be perceived as challenging your identity.
This question is also hard to ask yourself because it asserts, “It’s all about YOU.” Suddenly, you are acknowledging yourself that you are responsible for the outcome of your life—not your childhood, not your mother, not your spouse, etc. And “It’s all about YOU” does not mean enduring circumstances passively; instead, it signifies that you are in charge and have the liberty to choose your actions.
If someone aims to eliminate hardships from their life, they may feel helpless. Because that would be possible only by moving to a 'perfect place' with perfect surroundings. However, we know that is not realistic.
Realistic approaches to hardships
A more realistic and more meaningful way is to befriend hardships using flexibility, empathy, and intention. The feelings associated with hardships—frustration, pain, helplessness, guilt, shame, deprivation, etc.—are not pleasant at all. But these feelings themselves are not harmful. What can harm you is your relationship with these feelings. When you are rigid, judgmental, and unintentional, these feelings become consuming and dominate your life. It puts you in a downward spiral.
Essential skills to live a fulfilling life
The ability to acknowledge and navigate through these 'negative, unpleasant feelings' with flexibility, empathy, and intention is crucial for increasing our emotional stability. It may sound paradoxical, but the more you allow yourself to feel, the more emotionally stable you become. Asking great questions like 'Why am I thinking this way?' and 'What is a more helpful way to see this matter?' demonstrates empathic curiosity, opening the door to a different perspective.
These abilities are something we had never been taught before. Currently, these skills may be taught at professional mental health facilities through therapists. These skills should be available for everyone—much like learning nutritional facts to prevent physical ailments and promote a healthier life. These skills are fundamental for individuals and for our modern community to flourish.
How are you doing with your emotional encounters?
When riding through the rough waters, it is reasonable to feel anxious. “Negative” feelings have functions and they are good to feel. The truly negative thing is letting these feelings make decisions or dominate your life.
In our culture, we've been taught to suppress negative feelings, as though admitting to these feelings might label us as failures.
Now, psychology and brain science show that suppressing negative feelings backfires. It increases stress and anxiety and negatively impacts relationships and physical health. It also reduces emotional resilience, which accelerates the urge to avoid acknowledging the negative feelings and creates a harmful cycle.
It’s wonderful for you to decide to embark on this journey intentionally. Experiencing negative feelings is completely reasonable and human. What we need to learn is not how to 'tough out' negative feelings, as they tend to return only louder and gain control over our lives. The valuable skills we aim to acquire involve the ability to process emotions properly and choose actions with flexibility, empathy, and intention. These skills open up more possibilities and a brighter future than persisting in suppressing negative emotions.
Gratitude for Pioneering
Thank you once again for your courage and sincerity in aspiring to become the person you envision, even in the face of adversity. You stand as a pioneer, embracing this innovative approach to unlock your inner potential, wisdom, and calm confidence. Your understanding of the importance of life coaching and your commitment to living as an example of possibilities are truly appreciated!